I turn the corner and... there they are. I freeze in my tracks, not wanting to move one step closer, but not quite able to turn around and leave, either. I don't find them this way often, Fulton and Portman. But every time I do, it at once warms my heart... and feels like a knife to the guts at the same time.

Portman is sitting with his back against one of the old oak trees that line the quad, his legs stretched out in front of him. Fulton is laying down on the grass, his head pillowed on his partner's thighs. Portman is running one gentle hand through his hair. The look on both their faces is one of pure contentment. They don't have any fear of being found out in the little corner of the quad they've staked out for themselves. The campus is mostly deserted, and even if it weren't, this spot is fairly secluded.

It would be just my brand of luck that in a secluded area of a mostly-deserted campus I would be the one to stumble across them.

Fulton opens his eyes lazily and smiles at Portman, then reaches a hand up to lightly trace his fingers along his boyfriend's cheek. Portman smiles back, catches the wandering hand in his own and plants a kiss on the palm.

The warring feelings within me intensify, my heart pounding in my chest. I'm intruding on something intensely private. I know that. But... I can't look away. It hurts me to see this -- it's a burning, scalding ache that I feel like a knife in my chest, but I can't stop watching. I want what they have. I want it so much it makes it hard to breathe when I watch them like this. And what's worse... what's worse is that I had it once. I had it with Connie. But I know with absolute certainty that when the rest of the team returns to campus in 2 weeks, Connie and I are going to have "A Talk". I feel it in my gut... right next to the knife that's been buried there since I first started noticing the not-so-secret looks between she and Dwayne. And we haven't had this -- this gentle togetherness that Fulton and Portman share -- in almost 2 years. I still miss it.

And so... even though I feel bad about it, I'm going to hide here behind this tree and pretend that I'm not a voyeur while I watch the happy pair to my heart's content. Because, as jealous as I am, their love is still a beautiful thing. And as dark a place as my heart is becoming, I need to shore it up with as much warmth and beauty as I can.

((For Cripes' sake! O_O What is up with me tonight? *grumbles* Damn it, Guy, I thought you were done being angsty for a while. Can't I get some sequel inspiration? *pause, ponders* Then again, it may have something to do with my player. *eyes the Winamp* I think they're in cahoots.))

And coming soon... 3. Tears for Fears -- Shout

((And now I know they are... *twitch*))

And yeah, believe it or not... I am too tired for chibi-silliness. This little chibi has to go to bed. *yawns*

'Night!